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The Pussy Licker is here. Flag hags, Subaru-driving psuedo moralists, and xxx e-stalkers... What's so hilarious is that the very people who I'm not interested in--and so artfully described--have focused their xxx insecurities and banded together to flag this post, both in an effort to mask themselves in future replies to...more tolerant...posters, and, presumably, to thwart my attempts at dating bliss, provided that xxx someone reads the foregoing, gets it, and has that all-important mix of uninhibitedness, chutzpa, and an IQ higher than her weight, and still manages a reply. So, fuck the xxx ers, and here's a repost of a repost in case you were saving the world, choking down chocolate pancakes at Pamela's the morning after some truly unmemorable sex, or strumming yourself like Pete Townsend aching for it properly: After an overwhelming response to the first iteration of this post, I am both disenchanted and optimistic. The former because many of you either can't read--or fail to--and attempt to fit your decidedly square peg into my round hole. So, in all candor: If you're recently separated and living in a townhouse on a Peters Township cul-de-sac with your three , don't reply. And no, your ridiculously adept oral prowess won't sway me. If you're a nineteen year-old Goth chic living in your parent's Crafton attic whose penchant for pizza barely beats your eyeliner jones, don't reply. I don't care how facile you are--pierced clits and nipple chains are deal-breakers. Finally, no, I won't pick you up at Western Psych after your x hour observation is up, regardless of your high school swim team physique and desire for Ambein sex at the Oakland Holiday Inn. There's a reason Daddy didn't hug you. That said, let's try this again... Ladies, allow me to get this out of the way; I am not obese, a pervert, or have ever been committed to a mental institution (voluntary or otherwise). I don't have an STD, bad acne, a speech impediment or in any other way could be considered "undateable" by a majority of women. In fact, I have no visible tattoos, am xxx feet tall, well hung, read and educated, have no hipster facial hair nor wear jeans better suited to an anorexic tween, and I have been advised by many that I'm "very cute" and/or "handsome." So you can imagine my frustration when it seems that I can't get a date for the fucking life of me. While I do carry many good traits, I fear that I have xxx fatal flaw in my character: I do not treat women like trash. I know, I KNOW! It seems being nice and gentlemanly, like complementing your hair and meaning it, taking you out for a picnic in Frick Park, and not running around on you with other women is simply for the birds. That actually having an informed opinion is suddenly a bad thing. Sometimes I wish my parents had simply been deadbeats living at the beach instead of reading to me and encouraging my education. At least then I could say words like "hella," "bro," and "fo sho." At least then I could be a complete man-whore and not feel the least bit guilty about it. So this is my proposition: Instead of doing nice things for you, like pulling out your chair, opening the door for you, and just having general all around respect for you - it's out the door. I'll chase other girls, show up late, disrespect your parents and friends. I'll criticize every touchy girl issue (like weight) right to your face. I'll get a fake tan, a tribal tattoo, and a lifted truck. I'll party with my friends and spend money on alcohol instead of taking you to the movies, sex big women Ashburn Missouri MO play pool, or getting frozen yogurt. I'll pop my shirt off more then Dennis from IASIP. I will only you drunk at xxx in the morning for sex, and then not be able to get it up once you get here because I'm too wasted. So in short: I will act like a douche. I'll be the Archduke of Douche-berg. 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